I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
