Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
