Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
