He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need moral support for this bender
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I see more hoeing in ur future
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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