she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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