I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
