brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
