I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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