I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
