I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want to make out with him forever
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
