we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize