i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
