we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
