Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
