Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
