just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
