who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
