Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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