so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
