Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
