Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
