Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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