It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
