Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
