We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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