so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
