I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
