I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize