He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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