And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
