i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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