You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
