Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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