so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize