Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
