So drunk its hurt
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
North Korea, Best Korea!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
