Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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