When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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