I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
