He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
