I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize