So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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