well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
