Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize