If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
