if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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