Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
