I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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