Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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