Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
