I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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