some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
