I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry my hands just texted you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
