she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
