Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
