so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
