We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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