i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize