Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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