Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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