i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
