My balls are so social today.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
