That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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